AFTER 4 GLASSES OF WINE

“I love you… I hate you.” Of course I’m talking to the internet.
“You eat up all my time,” I accuse, externalizing blame. It is totally my own fault that I spend excessive time on the internet when I’m supposed to be writing the great gay romance novel.
“You must have an author platform,” I’m told by the experts.
“What’s an author platform?” I ask my cyber-space friends.
“It’s all the bits and pieces that ensure people know Steve Castley is a writer.”
I search the internet to find what’s included in these ‘bits and pieces’. As a writer, I discover my author platform may include:

• A Facebook page where I describe myself. I’ve got this, so I’m started. I update it daily to ensure people know my bowels are regular; I like the color purple, then mauve, then turquoise and then purple again. This is vital information for my future readers. They also need to know that I am writing the great gay romance novel. This is not the place to tell them I’m bogged down servicing this page and don’t have time to write the bloody book.
• Join or form groups on Facebook. I start joining writing groups and they appear on the sidebar of my Facebook page. Regularly they have numbers beside them, screaming at me to see what’s been posted. Hours evaporate as I read the gems posted by a few and the inane drivel of others. Writing time disappears as I discover many others also complaining about not having time to write.
• A Twitter page as well. I am clueless, not knowing what Twitter is. I employed a free lancer to make this page for me, just so I would have one – because I must have one. I post nonsense on Twitter; friend people, accept requests, post some more and still don’t know how it works and will lose more time doing an on-line course to understand the functions of Twitter. But I must have Twitter if I want to be a successful writer someday, even if it means I don’t have time to write. What is wrong with this picture? I ponder.
• A website. I’ve paid a small fortune for all my other websites, (www.privateubudvillas.com , www.evespabali.com , www.bayuskitchen.com) but non of them identify Steve Castley as the writer, the artist, the wanker. This new website will do all of the above. It will improve my profile as a writer. People will discover Steve Castley at www.stevecastley.com and later they will buy my book. What book? I am too busy chasing my social media tail to find time to write the great gay romance novel.
• A blog. Every writer must have a blog. I need to tell people what I am thinking and experiencing as I DON’T write the great gay romance novel. I’ve started my blog and share the sun-showers that comprise my life. My readers know that I am blessed. But tonight, after four glasses of wine, I feel more annoyed than blessed; annoyed that my social media obligations have left little time for REAL writing and annoyed at myself for not taking control of this addictive technology.
• And then there is Instagram, Flickr. Vibe. WAYN, and so may more. But I’m not going there. Enough is enough! The 30 minutes left in my day is not for new social media, it is my time to write.

A couple of months ago I made a commitment to write 1,000 words a day. I am doing this, but often it is words for my blog and social media networks. From now on, 500 of the 1,000 word daily commitment must be for my great gay romance novel, Nothing is forever. And that’s a promise. 

I wonder what I’ll think when I’m sober.